Queerleaders Read online

  Lila threw her arms up in frustration. “Then what are you going to do? You’re the most passive person I know!”

  Mack stood a little straighter. “I am not.”

  “You’re my best friend, and I love you more than anything. But you are.”

  The small fire that was burning in Mack’s chest suddenly exploded. She adjusted her backpack on her shoulder and turned on her heels. The worn rubber of her tennis shoes slapped against the tile of the hallway as she started out of the building.

  “Mack!” Lila called out to her, following behind.

  The football field was separated from the school by another parking lot where all the cool kids usually sat. The parking lot gave way to grass where the bleachers looked out over the field. Mack walked past the bleachers to see the football team practicing on the field.

  “Mack! What are you doing?” Lila called behind her.

  Her focus was on Chad, who was standing on the edge of the field waiting for a pass. He didn’t notice as she stalked up to him, her heart racing. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw a football hurtling toward them and casually hit it to the ground right as he was about to catch it. Chad blinked for a moment before looking over at Mack.

  “What the fu—?”

  “What the hell is your problem?”

  Chad stared at her for a moment, something coming over his face. “Huh?”

  “Don’t play stupid with me,” Mack said pointing a finger at him that felt more threatening than she was sure it looked, especially with Chad having at least a foot on her in height. “I know it’s you who’s been orchestrating all that shit.”

  Chad scoffed as Lila came up next to Mack. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Lila threw one of the coupons at him and Mack was pleased to see he had the decency to blush at the very least. He shrugged and crossed his arms. “So what?”

  “So just leave me alone,” Mack said firmly in a voice she didn’t recognize. “I didn’t do anything to you! You can’t just go around outing people.”

  Chad chuckled. “You didn’t do anything to me, huh? You were scamming on my girl!”

  “I wasn’t scamming on anyone,” Mack said. “I barely ever talked to Veronica.”

  “You have a crush on her.”

  “So does half the school! That’s no fucking excuse! I wrote a note. You outed me to every Neanderthal here!”

  Chad looked confused for a moment, then started laughing. “Maybe if you weren’t such a freak, this wouldn’t have happened! Did you really think you had a chance with her anyway?” He paused for effect as his buddies gathered around them.

  Mack felt her chest tightening so painfully with anxiety she thought she might pop a rib. Tears of anger burned behind her eyes and she willed them to stay in place.

  “She’s a cheerleader,” Chad said with a smirk. “Why don’t you try someone your own speed? Like the lunch lady?”

  The other football players started laughing and something inside of Mack snapped. She strode up to Chad so she could poke him hard in the chest. To her surprise and delight, he stumbled back a little in shock.

  “Fuck you!” she shouted. “I could get a cheerleader if I wanted!”

  The football players laughed louder and Mack felt her ears tint red.

  “Yeah, right,” Chad said, shaking his head.

  “I can and I will!”

  “Um,” Lila said quietly behind her, “Mack.”

  The football players just laughed louder and it spurred Mack on.

  “Fuck you!” she said pointing at Chad. She pointed at the rest of the football players. “Fuck all of you! I’m not going to just get one cheerleader. I’m going to steal all your girlfriends!”

  The football team laughed even louder, the sound almost deafening. She felt Lila tugging on the back of her sweatshirt but ignored it.

  “I’d like to see you try!” Chad said.

  “Good! Because that’s exactly what I’m going to do!” Mack spun around as the football players practically howled in laughter. With one last surge of confidence, she turned back around to yell. “And the lunch lady is very nice! I’m sure once you take the hairnet off she’s very attractive!”

  With one more satisfied nod of her head, she stomped off the field, passing a very shocked looking Lila. Their shoulders brushed and it knocked her out of her daze.

  “Um, Mack…”

  “What?” Mack asked, hands clenched in fists at her sides as she walked toward the bleachers. She could hear blood rushing through her ears, heart practically vibrating.

  “I told you to get one cheerleader. One!” Lila said, jogging to catch up with her. “Not all of them!”

  Some of Mack’s anger subsided and panic took over. She let out a long breath through her nose as she ducked under the bleachers. As soon as they were out of sight of the football players, she whispered, “Holy shit! I just made the worst mistake of my life.”

  Lila grimaced. “Don’t be dramatic. There was that time you tried to eat a tablespoon of cinnamon.”

  “This is your fault! You and my stupid parents. You all convinced me I could get a cheerleader—”

  “Yes, one cheerleader—”

  “You all planted this seed. I would have never even thought of anything like that if you hadn’t planted the idea. It wormed its way into my subconscious and came spewing out at the most inconvenient time!”

  Mack felt her lungs struggling to expand as she gave into her panic. Her chest started to burn as she hyperventilated, flailing her hands in front of her helplessly. Lila stood in front of her and held her arms down at her sides, giving her a serious look.

  “Calm down, Spazz McGee.” Lila shook her a little. “It’s okay. Breathe in.”

  She took a deep breath in and Mack struggled, but mimicked her.

  “Good. Now breathe out.”

  Mack breathed out with Lila. They did it a few more times until Mack breathed normally and her lungs stopped burning.

  “Better?” Lila asked with a warm smile. Mack nodded and couldn’t help but smile back. “Good,” Lila said. “You can do this.”

  Mack felt some of the panic leak back into her chest and Lila shook her lightly.

  “Hey, hey,” Lila said trying to get Mack’s attention. “Don’t freak out. Just listen to me.”

  Mack nodded, unconvinced.

  “You got this. Okay?” Lila said a little slower. “You’re a sexy, confident woman.”

  Mack pulled a face and Lila shook her harder. “No, you have to believe it. Olivia Wilde has nothing on you. Say it.”

  Mack frowned and shifted uncomfortably. “I’m…” She struggled but finally got the word out. “S-sexy?”

  “Yes!” Lila bounced on the balls of her feet. “You’re sexy! Say it again!”

  Mack couldn’t help but feel a little of the confidence leak into her. “I’m sexy!”

  “There you go!” Lila beamed, before she screamed, “You’re so fucking sexy!”

  “I’m so sexy!”

  Lila started bouncing in excitement and Mack couldn’t help but bounce with her. “Yeah! Now go get all those cheerleader bitches!”

  Mack flinched a little, but Lila’s energy was contagious. “I’ll get all those cheerleader…bitches!”

  Lila screamed in Mack’s face and Lila screamed back. Mack started to jog back toward the school and Lila smacked her ass as she went. Mack continued jogging but couldn’t help but feel her confidence drain.

  “Shit,” she said under her breath.

  Chapter Five

  “Come out of there!” Lila called from the other side of the dressing room door. “Let me see what you got on!”

  Mack frowned at herself in the floor length mirror, the unflattering fluorescent lights flickering overhead. She smoothed out the purple dress she had on and sighed, opening the door for Lila. She came bursting in, locking the door behind her before looking Mack over.

  “Oh, damn, who knew you had those legs on you?” Lila lifted the edge of Mack’s skirt a bit to get a better look. “You shave?” Mack pushed her hands away and looked back in the mirror.

  “What are you talking about? It’s not like I never wear a bathing suit or shorts around you,” she said turning to look at her dress from the back. “I don’t know if I like it.”

  Lila’s eyes roamed Mack’s body slowly and for some reason it made Mack squirm, but not uncomfortably.

  “You look…really pretty,” Lila said softly. Her eyes lingered on Mack’s neck for a moment before darting back up to her eyes. “Why don’t you like it?”

  “I don’t feel comfortable,” Mack said, blushing under Lila’s looks. “I don’t really like dresses.”

  “Let me get you some pants and some cute button-ups or something. Go with the tomboy look.”

  “That’s not too…masculine?” Mack asked, embarrassed.

  Lila shook her head. “Who gives a fuck? You’re gonna look fine as hell. Wear whatever makes you comfortable. Plus, anything will be an improvement from your old jeans and sweatshirts.”

  Mack looked back in the mirror. “Fine. Help me undress.”

  She turned so that Lila could reach her zipper. She pulled it down slowly, fingers following the zipper down Mack’s spine. Mack suppressed a shiver and looked into the mirror. Her eyes met Lila’s who was just as flushed.

  “I’ll get you some good stuff,” Lila said before leaving the dressing room.

  “That’s…weird,” Mack said, rolling her shoulders and trying to shake off the fluttery feeling in her stomach. “Super weird.”

  Mack stood in front of her bed, completely at a loss. Bags filled with new clothes spilled out. She was still reeling from the day before when she’d told all the football players she was going to steal their girlfriends. If only she had a time machine she could use. She would go back and slap herself across her stupid mouth before she could make a statement that bold.

  But time travel didn’t exist and Mack was stuck in the present with her impulse control issues to keep her company, not to mention the memory of her failure that would haunt her forever.

  Lila was lying on her stomach on Mack’s bed on the other side of the bags, feet kicked up in the air as she flipped through one of Mack’s old magazines. She seemed oblivious to Mack’s crisis.

  Mack felt sick to her stomach.

  “What if I just…dropped out?” She pulled out a shirt from her closet and wrinkled her nose at it before letting it drop to the floor. Discarded clothes littered the floor around her feet—things to give to charity to make room for her new clothes.

  “You can’t do that.” Lila sighed, not even sparing Mack a glance.

  Mack grunted and shoved all her clothes to one side so that she could look into the deep depths of the closet. “I know. I have to steal the cheerleaders or I’ll look like a coward, and when I try to steal them and inevitably fail, then I will still look like an idiot.”

  “You’re stuck in a real Catch-22,” Lila said disinterestedly.

  Mack frowned and turned to look at Lila. “Is that how you use that?”

  Lila looked up at her and shrugged. “Pretty sure.”

  Mack turned back to her bed. From deep in one bag, she pulled out a blue button-up shirt Lila insisted was her color. She held it up and quickly put it on. Rolling up the sleeves a little, she turned back to Lila. “What do you think?”

  Lila looked up from the magazine and blinked. The magazine page fell from her fingers and fluttered back to the bed. “I…it looks…You look good.”

  “Yeah?” Mack said, stomach warming a little. Lila nodded and Mack’s stomach flipped as her best friend’s gaze scanned her body. She licked her lips. “Um…Lila?”

  Lila blinked and looked at Mack, her own cheeks tinted. She cleared her throat before looking back down at her magazine.

  “Who would have known a clean shirt would make that much of a difference, huh?”

  Mack smoothed down the front. She pulled a brush from her dresser drawer. Considering herself in the mirror, she brushed her hair to one side before shaking her head and parting it the other direction.

  “Wow and you’re brushing your hair too.”

  “I need to do what I can to impress girls, Lila,” Mack said, finally settling on a hairstyle. Lila stood up and walked behind Mack, who was still messing with her shirt in the mirror. Mack caught Lila’s gaze and smiled at her. Lila wrapped her arms around Mack’s waist from behind and Mack leaned back into her, her hands covering Lila’s.

  “Just be your wonderful self,” Lila said lightly, resting her chin on Mack’s shoulder. Mack felt affection settle in her chest as Lila smirked and quickly added, “It’ll trick them into thinking you’re awesome.”

  Mack rolled her eyes and squeezed Lila’s hands with her own. “Asshole.”

  “And that’s why we’re friends.” She squeezed Mack around the waist once and dropped her arms. “Now let’s go before we’re late.”

  “Fine,” Mack said, grabbing her backpack and some boots she never wore in favor of her usual sneakers. They were a pair of simple black boots she had begged her mom to get her after seeing Kristen Stewart wear some similar ones in a magazine. “Let’s go…attempt to talk to girls.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Lila said, clapping her friend on the shoulder.

  “You ready?” Lila asked Mack as they stood in front of the doors to the school.

  Mack nodded curtly, tugging at the hem of her shirt one more time. She pushed her sunglasses up her nose, held her chin high and pushed open the doors. If her life was one of those cheesy high school movies, she’d be walking in slow motion while a mysterious wind blew her hair back perfectly. But it wasn’t. The combined glare of the fluorescent lights in the hall with her mirrored sunglasses made it hard to see, but she kept them on. It made her feel cooler. More confident. Plus they hid the raw animal terror she felt when she saw other people looking at her like she was a brand new person.

  Mack got to her locker and felt eyes on her. She looked around and spotted Beth standing a couple of yards away at her own locker staring at her. Beth smiled shyly and Mack smiled back with a small nod. Beth’s smile got wider and she offered a small wave in Mack’s direction just as someone stepped into their line of sight.

  Mack looked up to see Veronica standing in front of her, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. She couldn’t help the way her stomach flipped. She was just so beautiful. It was like looking into the eyes of an angel dressed in a cheerleading uniform.

  “Your plan isn’t going to work,” Veronica said firmly. It was only then that Mack even noticed Suzan next to her.

  Mack blinked, regaining her ability to speak as she looked between the two cheerleaders. She felt Lila standing behind her, probably trying to look intimidating.

  “My plan?”

  Lila kicked the back of her foot and it jogged Mack’s memory. Right. Stealing cheerleaders. She felt herself blush just as a girl Mack had honestly never seen before passed them—while smiling shyly at her. Mack smirked and looked back at Veronica, some of her confidence restored.

  “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” she said smugly, pushing her sunglasses on the top of her head.

  “Listen, just because you wore a shirt that actually fits you for once and decided to brush your teeth, doesn’t mean you can get any of my girls,” Veronica said with her own smirk.

  Mack chuckled as she opened her locker. “Wow, that was probably one of the gayest things I’ve ever heard.”

  Veronica rolled her eyes and looked at Mack with a serious scowl. Mack hated that she still found it incredibly hot.

  “I’m not going to let you ruin my plans. Do you understand?” Veronica said dangerously. “We’re going to win Nationals. We need to win Nationals. And I’m going to lead the team to victory and the Ex-Priests for Student Athletes Coalition isn’t going to support a team full of lesbians.”

  “Because a bunch of perverted old men are the judges?”

  “No, idiot. They’re our sponsor,” Suzan piped up. Veronica shot her a look and she shrank back again.

  Mack said sarcastically, “Well I know it would suck for you to not have another trophy in the case gathering dust—”

  “It’s more than that,” Veronica interrupted. Her tough demeanor softened for a moment and Mack felt like reaching out and putting a hand on her arm. Thankfully she didn’t act on that impulse because Suzan probably would have bitten her hand off. “I need a win this year to help me get into college. You’d be ruining my future.”

  “I highly doubt Mack dating some of the girls on your team would jeopardize your chances of becoming a professional cheerleader and marrying rich,” Lila deadpanned. Veronica flinched as something crossed her face that looked an awful lot like vulnerability before it was gone and her scary face was back.

  “Whatever,” she said turning back toward Mack. “All of my cheerleaders are members of the High on Jesus Club and the Celibacy Club. There’s no way you’re going to get your filthy little paws on them.”

  Just then a cheerleader passed them, her belly protruding and pretty obviously pregnant. Mack raised her eyebrow and looked back at Veronica who couldn’t hide her blush.

  “Yeah, we see how well that’s going,” Mack said, getting her books out of her locker and closing it. She turned on her heels and called over her shoulder. “See you later, Ronnie.”

  “What an idiot,” Lila said as they headed toward their shared English class.

  Mack bumped against Lila briefly. “She’s not an idiot. She’s super smart. Straight A’s and everything.”

  Lila pretended to gag as they walked into the classroom. “She’s a tool. You just can’t see it because you’re in love with her.”

  Mack tried to hide her smile. “Not in love…I just see the parts of her no one else does.”

  “Like her tits?” Lila smirked as they got into their respective seats. “Because I’m pretty sure everyone can see those.”

  Mack felt like her face was burning when she shot Lila a look. She pulled out her English textbook just as the sound of everyone’s phones buzzing at the same time went through the classroom. Everyone pulled out their phones. Mack just looked around confused. Some people looked back at her and others ducked their heads together as they whispered.